did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
