It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
