So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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