I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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