he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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