Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
