playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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