yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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