i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
