I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
