it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
