why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
