update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You are a genius and a whore.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
