i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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