Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
