Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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