Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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