where does the pee come out of this thing
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
