its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
