I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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