Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
