ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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