I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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