If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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