So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
