I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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