As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize