So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
