i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
