OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
