The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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