White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
