When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
