I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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