it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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