Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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