if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
