Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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