my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
