Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
