did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize