The maid of honor just puked.
I think my fart just growled at me.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
