my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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