my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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