is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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