I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize