you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
