problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
