dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
