Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
