Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
