and you said cock pushups were impossible
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
