maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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