Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize