I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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