She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
