i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
