We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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