"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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