you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize