no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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