well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
