i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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