well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
