May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
