No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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