Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
