FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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