Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
