the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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