you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have already put on my inside pants.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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