sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
