jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
