If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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