the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize