its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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