So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we're making bets on your personal life
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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