So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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