Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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