my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
